I Before E Except After- Well- Everyone Else

Flash Fiction Challenge- though it’s not more of a drive-by write than flash fiction as I’m in the middle of sprinting to my Oct. 1st deadline for His Hometown Girl. Anyway, here’s my attempt to write something in under fifteen minutes (that’s literally all the time I can give 🙂

The book I’m reading: The White Princess by Philappa Gregory
The first sentence (from chapter one, not the prologue) :
I wish I could stop dreaming.
Google image of the last noun in that sentence:
A black and white graphic of a block letter, capital I

 I’ve had enough of being a pronoun. It sounds like I’m something special but I’m not. And the other nouns know it. They don’t even talk to me. They huddle in the corner of the sentence and share their fancy, important meanings, puffed up with importance. They act like the stars of every book they appear in and me, tireless, hardworking me, gets no credit. I’m just the noun authors turn to when narrating. Nothing  specific, evocative, or transcendent. Sheesh. I might be a pro, but who remembers ‘I’… accept me?

I’ve written to that Webster guy. The one who wrote the book about words by simply listing them and their definitions. Sure. That was tough. Oh. And this is rich. Do you want to know what my definition is? Here goes:

noun, often capitalized often attributive \ˈī\

: the ninth letter of the English alphabet

: the number one in Roman numerals

Of course I had to look up ‘attributive’ because after that lackluster definition, I figured it’d be something good. Eeeeeh. Negatory. All it meant was that I joined things. What’s so ‘pro’ about that? And I’m the ninth letter in the English alphabet. Whoop-dee-do. Couldn’t I have had a cool position like ten? Or an even number? It figures I’d be odd. But at least I’m (trumpet sound) numero uno in a DEAD LANGUAGE.  Yeah. That’s right. I’m so pro that only ancient people know about me. Oh- and the kids who still outline their essays- back in 1985. *sigh.

I don’t want to go pro anymore. I want to be a real noun with meat on me like ‘camaraderie’, ‘demagogue’ ‘reverence’ ‘exasperation’ and ‘adulation’- big words, important words, words people don’t skip when getting to the juicy parts.  I might as well be invisible. Maybe that’s why they capitalize me. I won’t fade into the page that way, though I might disappear before your eyes.

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About J.K. Rock

J.K. Rock is the pseudonym for YA writers-and sisters in law- Joanne and Karen Rock. Their debut book, CAMP BOYFRIEND is the first in a three-book series from Spencer Hill Contemporary. Don't miss their free bonus novellas including CAMP KISS and CAMP CHRISTMAS, available for download at http://spencerhillcontemporary.com/Downloads.html

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